Thoughts at work

Do I care for you enough to set aside my feelings and let you have your way with other women?

Better yet: am I strong enough?

Can I keep on doing this without knowing how similar you do things with the others?

Can I overcome this hurt and sadness, knowing I wasn’t good enough, and knowing that maybe someone else will be?

Am I strong enough to pretend I’m OK with knowing you will do all those physical things with others? Knowing that maybe they can meet you more than I could? Knowing I must have meant nothing more to you than the rest?

I just want to keep on seeing you and talking to you without feeling anything. Just.. numbness. Because I cannot give up on you but I don’t know how long I can keep on going over my limit and pretending nothing is the matter.

Why did you have to be everything I wanted yet cannot have?

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